day 31: this is just to say
i have not
been to
confession in
20 years
and
i have sinned
every second
of it
forgive me father
it was inevitable
so tempting
and pretty fucking innocuous
As someone who is not religious, I've been contemplating going to confession. After some research, I went through the examination of conscience exercise and was immediately put off of it. Some of the so-called sins were just normal human things.
Now I can't help but view confession as a shaming ritual. Humiliation is not a strong enough word. It really is the internalization of shame. And shame can definitely be destructive.
Maybe if I had faith, I wouldn't view it this way. But as an outsider with one foot in the door, I can't help but feel this way. What I really need instead of confession, is a good therapist.