day 4: the illusion of weekends
When the weekend starts, time almost feels infinite. But the day is short, and every time the weekend closes, I regret how I spent it. I spent a large part of the day sleeping, and being overall unproductive. It was an emotionally heavy day (the eclipse confirms this) and I reacted by staying wrapped up in a cocoon of comfort. Empty comfort.
As a last ditch effort, I just finished reading a few pages of Gros's A Philosophy of Shame. I finished the chapter on post-modern individualist shame, as well as class-based shame. As I read the chapter on class-based shame, I could not help but think about The Secret History. Unrelated to Gros, I thought that once the trees fully turned orange, I would start reading The Secret History again. But back to Gros, I realised how Richard and Bunny were perfect examples of class-based shame.
Richard, suddenly finding himself surrounded by rich kids, becomes hyper-aware of his speech, his clothing, his eating habits. He tries to lie through it all, a common tactic for who Gros calls, "class defrctors." Bunny, on the other hand, is from a fallen family. He tries his best to keep up a facade that he is still rich, all the while looking down on Richard, who was never rich to begin with.
But what I really found interesting in the chapter, was how shame can be redirected. How the poor can reverse the flow of shame, looking down on the rich. All contigent on their own integrity, of course. It makes me wonder how envy could tie in here, as well.
But yes, that was the sum of my acolyte duties today. I hope for a better and more prepared week ahead.